


Let It Rain

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Canon, No Slash, Points of View, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-07-08
Updated: 2005-07-10
Packaged: 2018-12-26 18:17:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12064428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brians heart. Open. Broken. Loved.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

The rain feels cold as I stand in it. It doesn’t seem to numb the pain in my heart though. 

My heart. It’s broken. It’s open. I never thought it would. But Justin opened it, breaking it at the same time. Who knew love would feel like this? Love. The word resounds in my head.   
I keep telling myself that I don’t do love, I believe in fucking. Fuck love.

Fuck.Love. Why can’t I stop feeling like this?

I crawl back inside to where my boy is sleeping. I watch the outlines of his faces in the dark. I’d even recognize them with my eyes closed. I long for him. 

He can feel my restlessness and crawls into the nook of my body. His nook. Just his. The feeling of his body against mine becomes too much for me and I breathe him in. Into my mind, into my heart.

This is crazy.

I hold him close and kiss him temple. He breathes a sigh and mumbles in his sleep. I hold my ear to his mouth and listen. “Love you, Brian.Love you.Love you.Love you.” He keeps on repeating it against the corner of my ear.

Fuck it.

“Love you too, Jus’. Love you too.”


	2. Let It Rain

Rain turns to thunder, thunder turns to lightning and lightning never strikes the same place twice. The storm I seem to have gotten myself into will never calm. I will never stop loving him. I’ve never loved and never will love anyone else. 

The little persistent kid has gotten in under the wire. Deb could see, even a couple of years ago. And I didn’t even love him as much then as I do now. This love is suffocating, in the best way possible. I can’t breathe without him by my side. Christ, am I a lesbo? This is just too corny for words. 

Just shut-the-fuck up Brian, and finally realize what you feel. That’s what Justin would say. “ Justin? You listening? If you are, don’t make a sound... ”.

“I..I know I haven’t been there for you at times. The Ian-affair made me realize that. It felt like a punch in the face. You have a great right hook there, slugger! * smiles * A..and sometimes, when you were with him, I’d roll over to your side of the bed just to find it empty. Every time, I would die a little. I guess everybody could see it and I didn’t even mind. Everyone knew how I felt about you. Funny we should be the last to know huh? Did you ever overlook something that stood right in front of you? I sure as hell did and it kills me, even now. After the bashing, after Ian and after cancer, I still feel so goddamn guilty. Brian *fucking* Kinney doesn’t do guilt, Sunshine. No apologies, no regrets, remember?

Fuck that line. I apologize, I have regrets. All of them involve you. I love you. 

I never told you that line. But now I will. I promise.

I will.”


End file.
